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16 things that take 50 years to learn:


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#1 GuiltyCol

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Posted 04 December 2005 - 01:03 PM

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

#2 Yugen-biki

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Posted 04 December 2005 - 01:42 PM

Ha ha ha!

3. :rolleyes:

#3 GuiltyCol

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Posted 04 December 2005 - 01:52 PM

Yes I thought that might touch a few people here. ;)

#4 Ritual33

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Posted 04 December 2005 - 02:45 PM

Good stuff, I got a similar poster on the back of my bedroom door.
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#5 GBthriller

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Posted 05 December 2005 - 01:26 AM

LMAO! I love it. Salt and pepper, smiles and nods. Some outrite funny stuff, and the truths.

If I may add my own, for myself personally, and I truly hope it doesnt offend anyone:

At some point, even the most spitefull individuals will wish, hope, and believe there is a divine creator, and will yearn to understand that force. Even though throughout his or her life has done much to deny and avoid it, when faced with mortality, will yearn to connect with that which has been seated within all along.

Sermons over. There is much light hearted and humorous that goes with divinity, I'll add those some-other day.

Merry Christmas :)

Edited by GBthriller, 05 December 2005 - 01:28 AM.


#6 Jerronimo

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Posted 06 December 2005 - 06:37 PM

I don't believe in a divine creator(god)
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both."

#7 sizzle

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Posted 06 December 2005 - 06:43 PM

Me neither, I am strongly athiest.
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#8 GuiltyCol

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Posted 06 December 2005 - 07:27 PM

Sizzle, is it my imagination or is your avatar swearing at me? It looks distinctly like a 2 fingered salute going on there complete with knuckles in the correct place!

#9 sizzle

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Posted 06 December 2005 - 07:42 PM

Either it's your imagination, or Chaz is a VERY talented Star-mine creator.
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