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A few crackers!


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#1 Gazza

Gazza

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Posted 21 May 2008 - 11:37 AM

There were two naughty little boys in the street. One was playing with battery acid, the other boy was eating the contents of a blackpowder rocket.
A member of the public reported them to the police, who promptly arrived, chained them, and dragged them down to the local station.
The cops charged one of the boys. What happened to the other? They let him off!

How do you make a cat go 'woof'?
Pour petrol over it and light!

What happened to the dumb terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt his lips on the exhaust!

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.

What have Arsenal and a 3-pin electrical plug got in common?
They're both useless in Europe.

A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his underpants.
The barman asks: "Is that painful"?
The man replies: "It's drving me nuts!"

What's the biggest drawback in the circus?
An elephant's foreskin.

Scotland Yard are having a crackdown on Viagra smugglers.
Police are reported to be looking for 20 hardened criminals.

Quasimodo, the Hunchback of Notre Dame, returns home from a hard day ringing the cathedral bells-and finds his girlfriend standing in the kitchen with a wok.
"Fantastic", he says,"Is it Chinese tonight, Esmerelda?"
"Oh, no," she says, "I'm ironing your shirt."

Edited by Gazza, 21 May 2008 - 11:56 AM.


#2 crystal palace fireworks

crystal palace fireworks

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Posted 21 May 2008 - 01:57 PM

There were two naughty little boys in the street. One was playing with battery acid, the other boy was eating the contents of a blackpowder rocket.
A member of the public reported them to the police, who promptly arrived, chained them, and dragged them down to the local station.
The cops charged one of the boys. What happened to the other? They let him off!

How do you make a cat go 'woof'?
Pour petrol over it and light!

What happened to the dumb terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt his lips on the exhaust!

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.

What have Arsenal and a 3-pin electrical plug got in common?
They're both useless in Europe.

A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his underpants.
The barman asks: "Is that painful"?
The man replies: "It's drving me nuts!"

What's the biggest drawback in the circus?
An elephant's foreskin.

Scotland Yard are having a crackdown on Viagra smugglers.
Police are reported to be looking for 20 hardened criminals.

Quasimodo, the Hunchback of Notre Dame, returns home from a hard day ringing the cathedral bells-and finds his girlfriend standing in the kitchen with a wok.
"Fantastic", he says,"Is it Chinese tonight, Esmerelda?"
"Oh, no," she says, "I'm ironing your shirt."



Scotland yard, Arsenal, and Quasi = :lol: (nice one Gazza!)




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