14 replies to this topic

[Gary_1323]

Hi all,

I am unsure of whether this is a familiar problem with pyro hobbyists, but my better half is giving me some stick over my hobby. She claims that I spend more 'quality time' on my pyrotechnics hobby than I do with her. I have tried to get her involved with pyro, but it just doesn't appeal to her. Even my Lancaster Reds don't impress her. What am I to do? I don't see why I should give up my hobby.

[dr thrust]

i may get grief for this but here goes,women are simple beasts my friend mostly interested in handbag shopping, watching soaps etc...
i have to many hobbies! pyro ,cars,steam models,00 trains,xbox,and messing with old machinery, the answer to your problem is "time management" and to quote a line from the famous sunscreen song "be generous with your time".
ie:take the "domestic authorities" on a nice day out/ meal, the next day youll be allowed a little pyro time my friend its all good

[Peret]

I sympathise with you - I know a couple of people who had to give it up because the wife or girlfriend put her foot down - but as the good Doctor says, be generous with your time, and maybe she'll reciprocate. I consider myself very lucky. Mrs P used to hate fireworks too, but she started to get interested after I put on a respectable show, and now she makes whole shells on her own including lift and leader, and nags at me to buy more supplies. She doesn't care for the messy stuff like making stars and powder, but perhaps one day. We do have the advantage of being able to do it legally in the USA. Here we are at the Western Pyro Association's 'Do-It' builder event in September, with Mrs P's heart pattern shell under construction in the right foreground.

[a_bab]

Oh boy, 'been thru that all my life. It was the family first, then the girlfriend, then she became my wife... She's been fairly ok with that the last 15 years or so, but the secret is to manage your time. I understood this from the very beginning. And given the large amount of hobbies I have (machinery, holography, fireworks, old computers collecting, entomology, electronics, microscopy, etc). I guess I'm REALLY lucky person with my wife.

Your girlfriend feels probably for a good reason you don't spend enough time with her.

Since I'm not making a living out of this and it's just a hobby I only spend a week/year put together, so it's not that bad.

But then again ask yourself: what would I rather drop? The girlfriend or the pyro-addiction? Because if the answer is the first option, then you may have a big problem. 99% would probably go for the second option which is the NORMAL one. The rest is a condition we may call "compulsive pyrotechnics". The border is really thin sometimes.

Edited by a_bab, 03 November 2011 - 07:55 AM.

[Mortartube]

Try reverse psychology. Whenever you catch her doing something like watching soaps, tell her she spends more quality time doing that than with you. She will probably get very defensive. Ask her how she feels in her defensive mode then tell her that she now knows how you feel about pyro.

It's not that you don't want to not spend time with her, but that everyone needs a way to unwind. Hers may be watching soaps or retail therapy, yours may be pyro. She may understand a bit better then.

[dan100]

mines a soap lover aswell the two hobbies are discussed at times, all in all share the time equally,
mine shut up when the stalk dropped a screaming present on the doorstep .

dan.

[Gary_1323]

I sympathise with you - I know a couple of people who had to give it up because the wife or girlfriend put her foot down - but as the good Doctor says, be generous with your time, and maybe she'll reciprocate. I consider myself very lucky. Mrs P used to hate fireworks too, but she started to get interested after I put on a respectable show, and now she makes whole shells on her own including lift and leader, and nags at me to buy more supplies. She doesn't care for the messy stuff like making stars and powder, but perhaps one day. We do have the advantage of being able to do it legally in the USA. Here we are at the Western Pyro Association's 'Do-It' builder event in September, with Mrs P's heart pattern shell under construction in the right foreground.

You're lucky to have such a supportive lady!

Your heart pattern shell (a brilliant idea, by the way) has inspired me to work on a heart-patterned set-piece consisting of colour lances containing slow-burning Electric Red/Magenta composition, fused together with quick match. I'll probably get it finished by next Valentines Day. If that doesn't persuade 'the Missus' to allow me more 'pyro time', then nothing will!

I like the rather striking mountainous scenery in the background! Is that part of the Sierra Nevada mountain range?

Edited by Gary_1323, 04 November 2011 - 09:44 PM.

[Gary_1323]

i may get grief for this but here goes,women are simple beasts my friend mostly interested in handbag shopping, watching soaps etc...
i have to many hobbies! pyro ,cars,steam models,00 trains,xbox,and messing with old machinery, the answer to your problem is "time management" and to quote a line from the famous sunscreen song "be generous with your time".
ie:take the "domestic authorities" on a nice day out/ meal, the next day youll be allowed a little pyro time my friend its all good

Tell me about it! Why is that some women are so materialistic- they like their compulsive shopping trips for clothes items that they don't really need, pointless window shopping, their fascination with dumbed-down rubbish on TV - 'Bread and Circus' entertainment, such as soap operas, the dreaded X-factor/Big Brother/Strictly Come Dancing, celebrity gossip, celebrity magazines........it drives me nuts!

[Gary_1323]

Try reverse psychology. Whenever you catch her doing something like watching soaps, tell her she spends more quality time doing that than with you. She will probably get very defensive. Ask her how she feels in her defensive mode then tell her that she now knows how you feel about pyro.

It's not that you don't want to not spend time with her, but that everyone needs a way to unwind. Hers may be watching soaps or retail therapy, yours may be pyro. She may understand a bit better then.

Great advice, Mortartube! Thanks.

[Peret]

I like the rather striking mountainous scenery in the background! Is that part of the Sierra Nevada mountain range?

It's part of the "basin and range", about a quarter-million square miles of high altitude valleys (average 4000 feet) separated by low (average 7000 feet) N-S trending mountain ranges. The Sierra Nevada is the western edge of the basin, about 50 miles west (this photo was taken looking north). If you want to find Hawthorne on the map, it's at the left center on highway 95 (see map).

[cooperman435]

You all have it easy!!!

My "unorthodox" living arrangement leaves me with twice the nagging at home I assume you all get, it does however mean I have two girls to help pack orders and rig displays so its a ying and yang trade off.



They both love fireworks, understand most of it and help a lot but I simply have to do as earlier suggested and seperate time from work/play to spend with them to make it seem worth it.


we would all be stuffed without them though :-)

[megabusa]

You all have it easy!!!

My "unorthodox" living arrangement leaves me with twice the nagging at home I assume you all get, it does however mean I have two girls to help pack orders and rig displays so its a ying and yang trade off.



They both love fireworks, understand most of it and help a lot but I simply have to do as earlier suggested and seperate time from work/play to spend with them to make it seem worth it.


we would all be stuffed without them though :-)

You got 2 wives then Phill ? - That makes you twice as brave as the rest of us

[Batman]

My other half used to come and help set up when I did an annual display for a charity at Goodnestone House every year - she turned out to be brilliant at wiring and helping me convert all the fused pyros to electric ignition. Didn't even mind if it was raining!

To be honest, getting her involved was a good plan, but before the first time it took a bit of explaining and preparation before hand so she knew what was going on. Then a mate of mine who was helping out brought his other half along as well, and the team became four (well, actually five but the lead organiser tended, maybe rightly, to focus on maintaining a strategic overview of operations in between QC activity and digging large holes) - it still took us all day though. The last year the charity did the event we used about 5 miles of twin core, and the nail board was getting very, err, busy. There were still loads to be hand fired, so the ladies pitched in there, too.

In between times I've got more into vintage vehicles - which she really doesn't share, but then I don't ring bells, so that equals out. The logical approach to the fairer (not always - it depends if they want their own way) sex does not always work as expected IMHO. I doubt I'll ever get her to compete in a ploughing match, but my daughter may yet, and they both enjoy a good day out.
There will be a solution, compromise and diplomacy will be called for . Failing that, coercion

[Mortartube]

The nail board. A fantastic piece of kit. Works every time and doesn't mind getting rained on, not like many modern systems. Nice to hear it's still being used.